Tell yourself, “This world needs me. I am smart and capable of so much. Nobody but me has my unique ideas. Without me, there’d be a whole universe missing out on what it is that I have to offer.”
And then go make something.
Today’s genius idea: Beefwings
I took some old chicken wing bones out of the trash, rinsed them, mushed seasoned ground beef into them, flaked on some Cheeto dust, and once they’re done in the oven — I’m gonna serve them up to friends.
As great as it is to take risks and experiment, I think it’s equally as great to share as well. You’ll find that people can be appreciative of your creations. Not always, but slightly more than never they are.
Sometimes the response is, “Have I been poisoned? Am I going to die?”
But sometimes it isn’t.
A little disclosure:
I don’t know for certain that everything is going to be fine; you should induce vomiting if you feel you should. It happens all the time. The panicky, WTF response that is.
I cannot be offended. I am willing to admit to my mistakes and learn from them. I am always looking to go forward, and that requires an honest self assessment.
After what happened last summer with the cake I baked, I discovered that I shouldn’t use collected rain water as an ingrediant. The “natural, earthy” taste that I was aiming for, turned out to be a major misjudgement.
If walls could talk, I’d tell them to shut up; I’m trying to hear all about the adventures of the dollar bill…
An average, ordinary dollar bill has a story more remarkable and prolific than a human being ever could, regardless of age or experience.
The dollar bill that the little child hands to the ice cream man was once also tucked into the G-string of a stripper; thrown into the donation basket at a church; used to buy a regrettable sandwich at a rest stop; used to pay a toll; used to buy an Auntie Anne’s pretzel at the mall; found in the wallet of a dead guy; used to tip a bartender; used to tip a hair dresser; used to buy a lottery ticket; used to buy cigarettes; stolen in a robbery; used to buy crack cocaine; used to pay a baby sitter; donated to a politician; used to buy a gun; used to help the homeless; used to be exchanged for quarters so that a depressed drunk could play a game of skee-ball at a bar alone one night; etc, etc, etc…
Imagine: A person receives a dollar as change at a news stand at an airport. In a matter of hours, that dollar is the across the continent in a new city, where, maybe after only a few hours of arriving there, is spent again and given to someone else who is then on their way on a trip in an entirely different direction…
And the bill keeps traveling and traveling and traveling…
I guess you can say the story of a dollar bill is note-worthy. You guys like puns?
The journey of a dollar bill is so epic and nonstop, that if it happened to a human being, it would likely push them to the point of exhaustion and cause them to have a breakdown.
The story of just about any dollar bill is one of the greatest secrets there is and it’s right there all around us.
Think about it.
God bless you and good night.
May the universe shine it’s light upon you.
May your journey through life be a fraction as incredible and eventful as that of a dollar bill.
Many people’s biggest concern in life is being popular and well liked and accepted by others, but just think…
Would any of that matter if aliens came to Earth?
You can make it to the top of the social ladder amongst humans, but can you beat out an alien?
Chances are you will never be the coolest person in the universe — so why not just give up on trying?
And with that illogical, ridiculous, basically useless attempt at a pep talk, I’m sad to admit that I still don’t have the courage to eat at the Golden Corral by myself.
The Golden Corral is a bucket list item of mine, and I’m literally not capable of doing it alone.
I’m not trying to imply that people who eat alone at the Golden Corral are sad and pathetic and careless and indifferent to their own reputation…
What I’m saying is is that I am weak.
You don’t care if you enter the Golden Corral by yourself?
Bravo! But keep in mind that most people aren’t as depressed as you.
Anyways, I’ve taken the long road to get here, and you can probably guess what comes next…
Does anyone want to go to the Golden Corral with me? I don’t have what it takes to go by myself; I lack the self-confidence. I will pay for your meal. Seriously. So far after years of suggesting the Golden Corral, no one has agreed with me.