Dear Community

Support your local parkour kids. Let them hang up your holiday decorations or clean out your gutters or do some odd job for you — one that usually requires a ladder. Parkour kids will undoubtedly appreciate it. They sleep on fire escapes, and in the rafters of abandoned warehouses, and underneath bridge supports; it all depends on the season and weather.

Parkour kids move around a lot and are considerate of all terrains. Take caution when approaching parkour kids though, if you scare them, they might jolt back up to the top of a tree or some high fixture, and it could be a long time before they come down again. I personally have been making extensive, ongoing efforts to let them know that the floor isn’t always lava, and that us ground-dwellers aren’t all hostile. Instead of our two worlds colliding, maybe we can have better relations. Maybe we can grow to trust each other more.


I saw a man grab his nutsack at a red light the other day. He put his car in park, pointed me out, and then thrusted his hips up so I can see him grab his nutsack in the window.

His actual nutsack.

He had it out.

I’m too old now. I have a wife and kids and a job, a good job, but I wish more than anything that I was a parkour kid. I’m always looking up and looking around for them. They live life like it’s always top bunk. Everyday. I wish that I could climb up and escape with them.

Final Message/Closing Remarks:

Us ground-dwellers aren’t all hostile. What do I care if someone risks death to scale the side of an office building? I’m not a security guard and roof hopping is a thrill to watch. I could never be a parkour kid now and chances are, you’d never have the guts to be one either.

That’s why I choose to support them. And you should too.

If you’re a parkour kid and you’re reading this, I respect you.

Maybe a couple of you can come over and help me hang up a tire swing from the tree in my backyard.

I think it’d be great to get together and officially meet.

–A Local Father

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